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Skiracer
01-19-2006, 12:35 PM
You know you are Chinese, especially you are TW, Oops.... I meant when...
you are A$$ain....

You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping (and especially those bows) next year.

You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.

When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.

You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.

Your stove is covered with aluminum foil.

You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.

You eat all meals in the kitchen.

You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.

You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

You always leave your shoes at the door.

You have a piano in your living room.

You twirl your pen around your fingers.

Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.

You don't own any real Tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used but carefully rinsed margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.

You also use the jam jars as drinking glasses.

You've eaten a red bean Popsicle.

You bring oranges (or other produce) with you as a gift when you visit people's homes.

You have a collection of miniature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.

The condiments in your fridge are either Price Club sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take out or go to McDonald's.

Ditto for paper napkins.

You never order room service.

You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes). These travel snacks are always dried. As in not just dried plums, dried ginger, and beef/pork jerky, but dried cuttlefish (SQUID).

Your parents vehemently refuse the sack of gold coin oranges that their guests just brought just to be courteous.

You majored in something practical like engineering, medicine or law.

When you go to a dance party, there are walls of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.

You don't use measuring cups.

You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.

You beat eggs with chopsticks.

Your parents' house is always cold.

You tip Chinese delivery guys / waiters more.

You have acquired a taste for bitter melon.

You like congee with thousand year old eggs.

You prefer your shrimp with the heads and legs still attached -- it means they're fresh.

You never call your parents just to say hi.

You always cook too much.

Your parents tell you to boil herbs and stay inside when you get sick. They also tell you not to eat fried foods or baked goods because they produce hot air.

Your parents never go to the movies.

Your parents send money to their relatives in China.

You use a face cloth.

Your parents use a clothes line.

You eat every last grain of rice in your bowl, but don't eat the last piece of food on the table.

You starve yourself before going to all you can eat sushi.

You know someone who can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.

You never discuss your love life with your parents.

Your parents are never happy with your grades.

You keep most of your money in a savings account.

Your toothpaste tubes are all squeezed paper-thin.

You have Tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.

You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.

Someone in your family drives a Honda or Toyota... with custom rims.

You have a Chinese knick-knack hanging from your rear-view mirror.

You like to eat chicken feet.

You suck on fish heads and fish fins.

You turn bright red after drinking two tablespoons of beer.

You have more than five remotes in your house.

You leave the plastic on the lampshade for ten years or more.

You can't bear to throw things away.

Your dad washes his hair four times a day, or never at all.

Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.

You've worn glasses at least since the fifth grade.

You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.

You add twice the amount of water recommended when making orange juice from concentrate.

You've never seen your parents hug.

You always have water when dining out.

You say "aiya!" and "wah!" frequently.

You love to play mah jong.

Your mother is strangely obsessed with plants.

You notice the main topic at family get-togethers is food.

You seldom ever owned new clothes if you were a second child.

Your folks never speak under 10 decibels at family gatherings.

You never made the school football or basketball team.

You have two middle initials instead of one.

Your mother made you peel water chestnuts and snow peas.

You received little red envelopes containing money on special occasions.

You use the underside of a porcelain bowl to sharpen your knives.

You cut your own hair? Or had someone in your family do it.

You keep fresh garlic and ginger in the kitchen at all times.

You only have to shave every other day (maybe).

You wash and reuse zip lock bags.

You know at least three people named Alan Wong.

Your parents collect jade jewelry.

Your parents grow vegetables in a garden.

You use doilies to decorate your furniture.

Your grandmother rapped your knuckles with her chopsticks while reaching food with your fingers.

You're proud to be Chinese - and you pass these jokes on to all your Chinese friends!

Evoegg
01-19-2006, 07:04 PM
Fuk man I am about to editing something and WTF I erased my 2 hours work -



:'( :'( :'(



Evoegg

leaveit2bevo
01-20-2006, 10:33 AM
did you really just waste all the time and reply to every joke?

alex_alex
01-20-2006, 10:38 AM
did you really just waste all the time and reply to every joke?


indeed he did.

we should add to the list:

- You know you're chinese when: you have no time for TV but somehow manage to spend ungodly amounts of time on the internet answering threads line by line while eating rice and thinking about sexy anime women

Evoegg
01-20-2006, 11:12 PM
Well, got bored in the office that is why. and cannot play internet games in work so i camp forum.




O0




Evoegg

alex_alex
01-20-2006, 11:32 PM
me chinese

alex_alex
01-20-2006, 11:32 PM
me play joke

alex_alex
01-20-2006, 11:33 PM
me put pee pee in your coke

jase
01-22-2006, 02:23 AM
man im TW :2funny:

NRG
01-22-2006, 11:19 AM
Damn, 90% is not true for me............Guess I am not Chinese........... :roll:

silvery_eagle
01-23-2006, 11:29 AM
lol @ pee pee in your coke...

yep 90% of those fits me..