LiquidLife
02-27-2009, 02:23 PM
Hey everyone,
I wasn't sure where I should post this, but it seems fitting as the essay is about Tuning Technologies, or does it have a deeper meaning? :)Â* Below are the requirements for the essay, and then my essay is below that.Â* Let me know what you think, or what could be better.Â* Don't worry about MLA part, socalevo doesn't permit the right formating...
English 200
ESSAY #2: DESCRIPTIVE MODE
PROMPT:
• Write an essay in which you re-create a person, place, or thing using concrete details and figurative language.Â* Make sure that your details help to build a dominant impression about this subject.Â*
• In a separate and last paragraph, make meaning of this person, place, or thing by explaining the dominant impression and any deeper implications the subject has had in your life.
Possible Topics:
a possession that has had special meaning for you – a teddy bear, a car, a piece of jewelry, an article of clothing, etc.
a person who impacted your life for good or bad – a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a coach, etc.
a place that creates a special response in you – a house, a park or campground, a room in the house, etc.
FOCUS: You should re-create the person, place or thing, not to tell a story. If you need to give a little story as part of background information, keep it to a minimum. The weight of this essay is in the details that re-create the vision you have for your reader.
LENGTH: Unimportant. Try to focus on making the essay effective. Usually this essay is not very long.
DIRECTIONS:
• Type the essay according to correct MLA form.
• The heading on the left hand side of the first page should include:
o Your full name
o Your class and ticket number
o Date the essay is submitted
o Essay 2
o Please put a title on the essay which you center and in which you capitalize the first and important words, but do not punctuate.
Type in Verdana 10 font, and save the essay in Rich Text Format. Do not use a Zip file. Do not put # or any other symbol in the file title, Heading, or essay title.
Checklist for Essay 2: Descriptive Mode
• Did you re-create one person (or one place, or one thing)?
• Did you use sufficient descriptive, concrete details so that the reader will feel as though she can see, hear, taste, touch and smell your subject? (Interpret this judiciously; I do not want to taste a person!)
• Did you include a variety of examples of figurative language? Do not use all similes!
• Did you avoid clichés? (Life is like a box of chocolates…or bowl of cherries.
• Did you include vivid adjectives? Verbs? Adverbs?
• Does your essay convey a strong writer’s VOICE? TONE?
• Does the essay convey a dominant impression? Was this addressed in the concluding paragraph? Do you make deeper meaning in the conclusion by explaining the impression this person, place or thing has made on your life? (Remember to keep comments like these in the conclusion. The main body of the paper should focus on description.)
• Double check your MLA format, your Heading, page numbers, and your title.
Joshua Johnson
English 200 22345
25 February 2009
Essay 2
Home Is where the Heart Is
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* It was summer and hot; Friday morning with a bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight.Â* The air was clean and dry, still heating up from the angled sun, quickly warming but still refreshing.Â* A slight breeze moved through the green trees along the lifeless road, while the rocky semi-desert behind me lay still and quiet.Â* The road was lined with small industrial buildings, all seemingly the same with silver metal roofing and rough brick looking walls, most abandoned or at least not actively used.Â* The quiet and inactivity was a welcome change to the noisy fast paced life typically found in southern California.Â* It was still too early for anyone to be around to open and start the day, but I was there; waiting anxiously.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* A large, long driveway separated the buildings from the left to the right, looking towards the street.Â* At the end of the driveway there was a concrete barrier.Â* On the other side of the barrier was a small area that contained some very small industrial buildings of the same style, old vehicles, equipment and a crane.Â* More desolate landscape was just beyond this area, and off in the distance you could make out some residential areas.Â* One could imagine the Sand Crawler from Star Wars moving through this area scavenging for droids.Â* The desert has always had a certain appeal to it, but this area was special.Â* Â*
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* The building I was interested in was on the right side if looking toward the street, second to last from the end.Â* Two large bay doors on both ends indicating the building limits, and two office doors in the middle.Â* The owner finally arrived to open shop.Â* It seemed like I was destined to wait an eternity, but it was just my excitement slowing down time.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Alfred’s team slowly pulled my beautiful shinny blue Mitsubishi Evolution into the bay on the left while the giant Tuning Technologies banner was reflecting off my car, along with the rest of the shop.Â* Banners of racing companies littered the walls of the bay.Â* The smell of metal, exhaust, and rubber filled the area; the smell of good times.Â* Giant red tool boxes filled the area along with a vehicle lift on the right, and a state of the art 424x Dynojet all-wheel-drive dynamometer on the left underneath the Tuning Technologies banner.Â* The Dynojet looks like two long cylinders in the ground, one for the back wheels and one for the front, which measures the power your car makes.Â* After they installed a few new performance parts in my Evolution on top of what I already had, they drove it onto the Dynojet and strapped it down so it wouldn’t fly off while running the car at wide open throttle.Â* Two huge 64 inch fans were rolled in front and in back of the Dyno to blow out the exhaust while the car was running, but to also cool the car down.Â* I heard the ignition, followed by the sweet rumble of the exhaust, as exhaust gases traveled from the engine through the turbo and down the exhaust pipe all the while building pressure until finally released at the muffler, causing an almost bubbly and deep exhaust note with each detonation of fuel and air.Â* Alfred was in the driver seat with his laptop linked to the ECU of my car via the access port on the bottom side of the steering column, while his team monitored the tuning process from the outside checking strap tension and engine statistics.Â*
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Alfred punched the throttle in 3rd gear.Â* As the car reached 3,000 rpm’s the turbo started to spool, a very loud air sound, like air being blown out of an air compressor, but with a slight whistling sound and the pressure building.Â* I could see the engine torquing as it got to full boost and maximum power.Â* The exhaust was extremely loud, but deep and beautiful sounding.Â* I could see why Alfred and his team wore ear protection, as my ears started to hurt a little.Â* Throttle released!Â* The wheels of the Evolution spun decelerating along with the humming Dynojet cylinders.Â* This was one of many pulls to reach the cars full potential with its current modifications.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Beautiful engineering and tuning, a lifestyle, a business, some might say even freedom.Â* For those out there that are in some way in the auto performance industry, whether it be for fun or for business; we all have something in common.Â* We all have a love for anything that has an engine and that can move fast.Â* It’s not just the rush though; it’s the engineering aspect of it as well.Â* It’s making things better than they were originally, modifying, and creating.Â* It’s art.
I wasn't sure where I should post this, but it seems fitting as the essay is about Tuning Technologies, or does it have a deeper meaning? :)Â* Below are the requirements for the essay, and then my essay is below that.Â* Let me know what you think, or what could be better.Â* Don't worry about MLA part, socalevo doesn't permit the right formating...
English 200
ESSAY #2: DESCRIPTIVE MODE
PROMPT:
• Write an essay in which you re-create a person, place, or thing using concrete details and figurative language.Â* Make sure that your details help to build a dominant impression about this subject.Â*
• In a separate and last paragraph, make meaning of this person, place, or thing by explaining the dominant impression and any deeper implications the subject has had in your life.
Possible Topics:
a possession that has had special meaning for you – a teddy bear, a car, a piece of jewelry, an article of clothing, etc.
a person who impacted your life for good or bad – a parent, a sibling, a teacher, a coach, etc.
a place that creates a special response in you – a house, a park or campground, a room in the house, etc.
FOCUS: You should re-create the person, place or thing, not to tell a story. If you need to give a little story as part of background information, keep it to a minimum. The weight of this essay is in the details that re-create the vision you have for your reader.
LENGTH: Unimportant. Try to focus on making the essay effective. Usually this essay is not very long.
DIRECTIONS:
• Type the essay according to correct MLA form.
• The heading on the left hand side of the first page should include:
o Your full name
o Your class and ticket number
o Date the essay is submitted
o Essay 2
o Please put a title on the essay which you center and in which you capitalize the first and important words, but do not punctuate.
Type in Verdana 10 font, and save the essay in Rich Text Format. Do not use a Zip file. Do not put # or any other symbol in the file title, Heading, or essay title.
Checklist for Essay 2: Descriptive Mode
• Did you re-create one person (or one place, or one thing)?
• Did you use sufficient descriptive, concrete details so that the reader will feel as though she can see, hear, taste, touch and smell your subject? (Interpret this judiciously; I do not want to taste a person!)
• Did you include a variety of examples of figurative language? Do not use all similes!
• Did you avoid clichés? (Life is like a box of chocolates…or bowl of cherries.
• Did you include vivid adjectives? Verbs? Adverbs?
• Does your essay convey a strong writer’s VOICE? TONE?
• Does the essay convey a dominant impression? Was this addressed in the concluding paragraph? Do you make deeper meaning in the conclusion by explaining the impression this person, place or thing has made on your life? (Remember to keep comments like these in the conclusion. The main body of the paper should focus on description.)
• Double check your MLA format, your Heading, page numbers, and your title.
Joshua Johnson
English 200 22345
25 February 2009
Essay 2
Home Is where the Heart Is
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* It was summer and hot; Friday morning with a bright blue sky, not a cloud in sight.Â* The air was clean and dry, still heating up from the angled sun, quickly warming but still refreshing.Â* A slight breeze moved through the green trees along the lifeless road, while the rocky semi-desert behind me lay still and quiet.Â* The road was lined with small industrial buildings, all seemingly the same with silver metal roofing and rough brick looking walls, most abandoned or at least not actively used.Â* The quiet and inactivity was a welcome change to the noisy fast paced life typically found in southern California.Â* It was still too early for anyone to be around to open and start the day, but I was there; waiting anxiously.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* A large, long driveway separated the buildings from the left to the right, looking towards the street.Â* At the end of the driveway there was a concrete barrier.Â* On the other side of the barrier was a small area that contained some very small industrial buildings of the same style, old vehicles, equipment and a crane.Â* More desolate landscape was just beyond this area, and off in the distance you could make out some residential areas.Â* One could imagine the Sand Crawler from Star Wars moving through this area scavenging for droids.Â* The desert has always had a certain appeal to it, but this area was special.Â* Â*
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* The building I was interested in was on the right side if looking toward the street, second to last from the end.Â* Two large bay doors on both ends indicating the building limits, and two office doors in the middle.Â* The owner finally arrived to open shop.Â* It seemed like I was destined to wait an eternity, but it was just my excitement slowing down time.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Alfred’s team slowly pulled my beautiful shinny blue Mitsubishi Evolution into the bay on the left while the giant Tuning Technologies banner was reflecting off my car, along with the rest of the shop.Â* Banners of racing companies littered the walls of the bay.Â* The smell of metal, exhaust, and rubber filled the area; the smell of good times.Â* Giant red tool boxes filled the area along with a vehicle lift on the right, and a state of the art 424x Dynojet all-wheel-drive dynamometer on the left underneath the Tuning Technologies banner.Â* The Dynojet looks like two long cylinders in the ground, one for the back wheels and one for the front, which measures the power your car makes.Â* After they installed a few new performance parts in my Evolution on top of what I already had, they drove it onto the Dynojet and strapped it down so it wouldn’t fly off while running the car at wide open throttle.Â* Two huge 64 inch fans were rolled in front and in back of the Dyno to blow out the exhaust while the car was running, but to also cool the car down.Â* I heard the ignition, followed by the sweet rumble of the exhaust, as exhaust gases traveled from the engine through the turbo and down the exhaust pipe all the while building pressure until finally released at the muffler, causing an almost bubbly and deep exhaust note with each detonation of fuel and air.Â* Alfred was in the driver seat with his laptop linked to the ECU of my car via the access port on the bottom side of the steering column, while his team monitored the tuning process from the outside checking strap tension and engine statistics.Â*
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Alfred punched the throttle in 3rd gear.Â* As the car reached 3,000 rpm’s the turbo started to spool, a very loud air sound, like air being blown out of an air compressor, but with a slight whistling sound and the pressure building.Â* I could see the engine torquing as it got to full boost and maximum power.Â* The exhaust was extremely loud, but deep and beautiful sounding.Â* I could see why Alfred and his team wore ear protection, as my ears started to hurt a little.Â* Throttle released!Â* The wheels of the Evolution spun decelerating along with the humming Dynojet cylinders.Â* This was one of many pulls to reach the cars full potential with its current modifications.
Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Â* Beautiful engineering and tuning, a lifestyle, a business, some might say even freedom.Â* For those out there that are in some way in the auto performance industry, whether it be for fun or for business; we all have something in common.Â* We all have a love for anything that has an engine and that can move fast.Â* It’s not just the rush though; it’s the engineering aspect of it as well.Â* It’s making things better than they were originally, modifying, and creating.Â* It’s art.