Don't knock masturbation; it's sex with someone I love. ~ Woody Allen<br />Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. ~Woody Allen<br />For the first time in history, sex is more dangerous than the cigarette afterward. ~Jay Leno<br />Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. "Yes" is the answer. ~Swami X<br />Men get laid, but women get screwed. ~Quentin Crisp<br />When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~Author Unknown<br />If you use the electric vibrator near water, you will come and go at the same time. ~Louise Sammons<br />Sex got me into trouble from the age of fifteen: I'm hoping that by the time I'm seventy I'll straighten it out. ~Harold Robbins<br />Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. ~Woody Allen<br />An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets. ~Author Unknown<br />My cock doesn't talk politics.